The Mirror

"Reality replied: O prisoner of time,

I was a secret treasure of kindness and generosity,

and I wished this treasure to be known,

so I created a mirror: its shining face, the heart;

its darkened back, the world;

The back would please you if you've never seen the face."

- From Jalaluddin Rumi's poem "Be Lost in the Call"

A very wise philosophy professor once told me, "these eyes do not see the truth," and he pointed to his eyes...then he added "but these eyes do," pointing to his heart.  We automatically associate the eyeball with vision, why?  Well, because science explains this long, tedious and complex procedure about how our eyes allow us to "see."  Before I get started, you should be aware that I'm one of those people who value the arts...more so than science...and while no one can deny the importance of the latter, I prefer going back to classical philosophies and esoteric systems...for some reason they just make more sense to me.  

So we have eyeballs that enable us to see...we look around...we see the trees, the cars, the streets, the people...we form opinions, make judgements, choose to take in what "makes sense," and that's about it.  But think about what my professor told me...why is it that some traditions like Sufism, for example, stress the importance of the heart and not that of the mind.  The answer is actually quite simple.  Since our mind is "distorted," due to the lack of harmony in our personality, we do not "see" true things...we see things from certain perspectives...we impose our beliefs, ideals, morals and opinions on the things we see...falsely believing them to be true...and yet, as Rumi so eloquently puts it, what we see is the "darkened back, the world."  

It takes time to purify the heart...it requires dedication, persistence, meditation and patience...and only when we succeed, will we be able to see the truth.  This idea is not only restricted to Sufism though.  In Plato's famous work, The Republic, he talks about "the allegory of the cave," but to save you an extensive philosophic discussion allow me to sum up the basic idea.  Those trapped in the cave, submissive to their physical eyes, are fools...they think they see the truth and yet they only see shadows...while the one person, the "philosopher king" as Plato refers to him, is he who escapes, exits the cave and thus sees the "true" light...the light of truth.  

I am very much aware that the Buddha stresses the importance of the mind, and being a big believer in many of his teachings, I need to add one thing for those who take his sayings for granted.  What the Enlightened one is talking about is the harmonized mind; the mind that results from a harmonized physical body and thus is no longer attached to the phenomena, or the things of this world.  That very same mind is equivalent to the mirror of the heart--the clean slate that has been washed and disinfected from the distorted visions resulting from the conflicting personality (composed of four aspects: the physical, the vital, the emotional and the concrete mind).  

Whether you prefer using the word "heart" or "mind," they are almost the same...and all I'm advising you to do is to think twice about everything you see, feel, hear, touch...anything that you take in through your senses...they might be distorted, and you might be trapped in the hall of illusion. 

Just a Thought....(3)

I don't think I need to tell you how much pedestrians suffer when crossing the streets of Cairo.  We've all been there...and we've all had a really hard time.  But what hurts me the most is when I see an elderly person who's miserably bent over on a cane and can't get through the swarming cars due to the fact that none of them is decent enough to stop for a moment and let him or her pass.  And, of course, since no one really follows traffic rules in this city, one cannot really blame them.  Nevertheless, a few days ago, I was awestruck...a glimmer of hope shone down and bathed one of the busiest streets of Cairo in its splendor.  An elderly woman dressed in a long black galabeya and headscarf was, like many people everyday, trying to cross the street; and of course, as is mostly the case, no one was there to lend her a helping hand...well, at least that's what I thought...

To my surprise, a young man, who was clearly somewhat disabled both mentally and physically, gently held her hand, forced the cars to stop by charmingly and clumsily signaling them to do the latter, and helped her arrive safely at the other side of the street.  Can you imagine?  No one, and I mean NO ONE, bothered to take a second look at this helpless woman...except someone who one would normally view as incapable...and yet, he was filled with more courage, empathy and compassion than any of the hundreds of fully competent people who roamed the streets that morning.  

Out of Sight...Out of Heart?

"Out of sight, out of mind," sound possible...makes sense...rings true?  Well, think about it again.

The keywords here are "sight," "out," and "mind."  Isn't it funny how the word "heart" doesn't occur once in this overly used proverb?  I've heard it in at least three different languages, and I've also come across the same interpretation of it over and over again:  when a loved one disappears from a lover's vision, he or she is lost in the memories of the past, and is thus "out of mind."  Attached to the latter is the (false) assumption that when it does happen, the person in question becomes a memory and slowly even gets lost in that sea of oblivion...but is it really true?  

Well, in my opinion, if love was involved then it's the farthest from the truth.  How many times have we heard of lovers who longed for one another, or of a lover who lost his beloved yet longed for him/her more and more each day, even if they did not see each other at all? I know of a girl who didn't see her ex for three years; they had stopped talking completely, and yet every time his name came up she would burst into tears.  No matter how much I tried to console her, it just didn't work.  I even tried setting her up with numerous guys, but she wouldn't allow anyone to burst her bubble of nebulous dreams.  As a matter of fact, every single time a guy would approach her she would freak out, turn off her phone and make excuses to push him away.  So tell me, do you honestly think that he was "out of (her) mind"?  I don't think so!  And that's only one story...I for one heard of such cases more than a hundred times, and yet, it seems to me, that people still believe that when a lover is "out of sight," he or she becomes "out of mind."  Maybe "out of mind," but once the heart is replaced with the mind, deep, fruitful and intense love ceases to exist; and once logic and over-thinking take over, then yes, "out of sight, out of mind" rings true. If you've ever been in love, however, you will know that love is the most incredible–yet most illogical–feeling of them all...you don't know why you're in love with that special someone...and sometimes that someone is definitely not your Mr. Right, but you still love him and would defy everyone and anything to be by his or her side. If true love is involved, then no matter how far away your loved one is, you will not–or you cannot–forget him or her...at least that's what I think.  And even if you do...for a certain period...even if you meet someone else, that special love will always linger in the back of your head; as much as we all hate to admit that (we all like to convince ourselves that the past is gone, and yes, it is gone but the memory still remains), it is true.  Just look at yourself (if you've been in love, that is) or look at the people around you.  I can guarantee that when someone falls in love, no matter how far away the beloved is, he is never–and I mean never–"out of heart."

Think about that.

Only God Can Judge Me

“If you don't know, then ask me. If you don't agree, then argue with me.

 If you don't like, then say it to me. But don't keep silent and judge me.”

The quote above is by an anonymous author—and yet most of you probably identify with it.  I never really understood why the first impressions are the lasting ones—because, honestly speaking, I couldn’t disagree more.  In the society we live in we’re constantly being judged—and unfortunately, the conclusions are usually based on superficial assumptions, superficial labels, and are thus…superficial!  If you’re a girl and you happen to be a smoker—you’re judged.  If you’re a guy who enjoys going to parties—you’re judged.  If you have a tattoo or a piercing of some sort—of course, you’re judged.  If you wear eccentric outfits or revealing clothes—you’re judged.  Voice your opinion?  You guessed it, you’re judged.  And I know that as some readers go through my lines—I’m being judged! 

Sure, you can start talking and expressing yourself until the outer, “judged” shell finally falls apart—but what if you’re not given the chance to shine?  What if the unfair people that make up the day-to-day jury that we encounter don’t even allow themselves a chance to see the true You?  Unfortunately, we all end up wearing masks—playing certain roles, performing on a stage in front of the critics, hoping to get the best possible review.  Come to think of it, it is really quite pathetic! 

I know about a handful of people who truly do not care what others think of them—well maybe they care about their partner’s opinion, or that of their parents, but other than that they don’t quite give a hoot!  Then, there’s the “they,” that make up the larger percentage of the cake—those who care too much about what “they” think of them and how “they,” the others, view them.  They act according to what society and the socialites demand—I’m not trying to start a revolution here, but all I’m hoping for is that when you come across my article, you will realize that it’s about time you stopped obsessing too much about what others think of you; whether you like it or not, regardless of how you behave or what you wear, you will still plead “guilty” in the eyes of the jury—but why?  Well, that’s an interesting and very important question to ask.  

There are actually more than a million reasons behind this constant judging.  First, there’s green-eyed envy—or jealousy if you prefer.  How many times has a gorgeous woman walked by without you (or a friend of yours) finding an almost invisible flaw such as her tight pants for example, only to label her a tramp?  Admit it—you’re jealous.  And it’s ok—but channel that feeling towards something positive—like working out or dieting, for example—this way you’ll get that to-die-for figure of hers—there’s no need to start labeling others because of your insecurities.  Secondly, there’s the inferiority complex.  For some, it is quite a challenge to feel good about themselves—and without admitting that they have a problem, they suffer from a constant feeling that “he/she’s better than me, so I have to find a way to put them down,” and what better way to do so than to judge them—gracing them with a negative label, that is.  

I can go on forever when it comes to why we judge others and vice versa—but is it really necessary?  I vote “not necessary,” at all!  So remember, if you’re one of those who wouldn’t dare wear an outfit twice because of what your friends might say—snap out of it—if they can’t appreciate and love you for who you are then there’s not that great of friends to begin with—even if you wear the same pair of jeans two days in a row!  On the other hand, if you’re blessed with indifference with respect to the 24/7-awake jury, then congratulations—you’ve managed to jump off the stage, throw away your mask and walk out of the dark theater, into the bright daylight.  

No Regrets!

With the arrival of each new year, I’m sure you all promise to do this or that, and along with the latter—of course—to never repeat that one thing you said or that other thing you did…and positive affirmation is a good way to start…if you can keep it up.  But, speaking from personal experience, we’re all human…and sometimes things are easier said than done.  And, after reading Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s 100 Years of Solitude, I realized that life is cyclical—of course in some cases it is linear—but think about it…don’t you find yourself making the same silly mistakes over and over?  Don’t you catch yourself promising to never make that same mistake again…and yet, without really paying attention to it…you catch yourself repeating the whole exact scenario?  Sometimes with a twist, undeniably, but the end result is in most cases the same…and you go on and on about how stupid it was, how regretful you feel and, of course, how you’ll “never ever make that same mistake again.”  

I’m not saying that you’re forever caught in a labyrinth of repetition…well, in a sense—sometimes—you find yourself going down that very same path you vowed never to take…and it’s ok!  Picture driving around the streets of Cairo…which are filled with unnoticeable ditches and holes…you fall into the same hole once, twice and maybe ten times...until you finally find a way out—by looking for a completely different route, and—to your surprise—you’re out of the maze, for good!  

So what am I really saying?  All I’m telling you to do is to give yourself a break!  Don’t be too hard on yourself.  We all make mistakes…some that are grave and some that seem minute…but they’re all mistakes we repeat over and over…and of course, promise ourselves over and over to stop repeating them.  But…every time we make the same mistake, whether you like to admit it or not, we learn something new—about ourselves and about the world around us.  Again, I’m not encouraging you to give up hope…you’re not eternally doomed!  All I’m saying is that if you repeat a mistake—even if it’s for the hundredth time—you shouldn’t regret it; in fact, I’ll go so far as to say that you should embrace it.  I truly believe that everything happens for a reason…and the reason will always fill you with insights and ideas—more lessons learned.  And, when the time is right, you will find your alternate route and you will walk out of the maze.  But for this upcoming year, try to promise yourself this one, seemingly simple, thing—you will not regret anything—no matter how big or dramatic your mistake appears to be, further up the road you’ll realize that you had to learn a lesson…and your mistake will turn into a blessing in disguise…you should be thankful for it. 

Memory Part II

I am clutching the end of the faintest string of silver.  A golden thread that has turned into grayish silver, a European winter sky.  I try to revive its shine, its glimmer, and its glory.  I forcefully make it breathe.  I make it live on, not allowing it to die; to rest in peace.  It exists because I feed on it. A time to cry and a time to laugh—all through the shimmer of the dissolving thread.

I am the earth, the sky, the breath I draw in and the one I exhale.  I sit in silence as I dive into the cavities of my mind trying to fill in the blank spaces between the words that make up the story of my life.  Their silence threatens me; their observation scares me; the voids remain still, like toads on a log, waiting for their prey to arrive.  And then, the dinner suddenly arrives, the memories resurface.

The cracks force their dimness upon them, with the memories struggling to grow.  The battle goes on until I journey back into me, my body, my prison, out of my cavities, with their silence and their intimidation—unanswered questions, unrevealed secrets.  

The unfinished lines on my tabula rasa, the scribbles of my life shaded with my experiences.  The spaces remain the same, white blanks scaring away the words; powerful statements made by “simple” voids.  Each word easily engulfed by space, embraced by it; the space, both loved and hated—a fine invisible line, merging them, not separating them.  

I think of you, of what could have been, the voids unbearable, torturous, venomous.  I am lost, no answers found; no relief, no release.  I close my eyes and realize…between the words is where I love you the most.  

Just a Thought...(2)

In many works written by female Egyptian authors one thing shines brighter than anything else: love.  The lack of love, the importance of love, unrequited love…and the endless list of love-related terms goes on an on for what seems like eternity.  Then of course there’s the classic case of the single Egyptian woman who hates her life and can’t get over the fact that she’s single…especially if she’s over the age of 30 or 25 even.  But why is that?  I strongly believe that a lot of literary works are influenced by social norms, culture and tradition…so if the literature is full to the brim with love-related issues, negative ones if associated with being single, then I can’t help but think that many of the women today must see their lives as being “incomplete” if they’re single. But why have women allowed themselves to stoop so low as to depend on men to that extent?  Sure, we’d all like to be in a stable relationship someday…but what’s the rush?  Parents already start grooming their daughters at an early age “just in case a good chance comes along.”  Well, that’s excellent—you teach your daughter how to eat in public, dress in public, speak in public…everything in public!  But how about adding onto that how she should be proud of herself, how she should enjoy her life no matter what happens and, above all, how she should love herself?  Over the years I’ve met hundreds of girls who mainly complain about the same thing: “we’re single and hating it.”  But why can’t they “be single and loving it?”  Think about it…if you want to go shopping, you can …if you’d rather visit an art gallery you can do that too…if you’re trying to get an MA or a PhD…you can dive right into it!  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-men or anti-relationships, let alone love…as a matter of fact, I’m often labeled a “hopeless romantic,” waiting for my prince charming to show up on my doorstep riding a white horse then to whisk me off to an enchanted palace where we’ll live happily ever after.  But until that happens, why the complaints?  A young, talented and beautiful woman—and believe me, you all are young, talented and beautiful in different ways—should be able to embrace being single and realize that she can have the time of her life!  No shackles, no commitments!  Eventually we’ll all settle down, but until we start hearing wedding bells, we should learn to channel our energy into more productive, useful and enjoyable things while we have the time…because you never know, you might meet your Mr. Perfect tomorrow, and yes, you’ll have an amazing life together…but while you’re single, you could have an incredible one too.