Mask Off!

“Most people are other people.  Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.” – Oscar Wilde

Many of us have uttered one of these phrases at one point or another “I know myself,” “what you see is what you get,” and of course “this is who I am, take it or leave it.”  Think again.  Did you really mean what you think you meant?  Seriously, how many of us truly know ourselves? How many of us present the true image of ourselves?  And how many of us really mean it when we say “this is who I am”? 

Unfortunately, most of us fall victims to the demands and wishes of the Other.  The Other can be synonymous with parents, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, fiancés, husbands, wives, bosses…and the list goes on.  We live our lives according to their wants and needs…out of fear?  Maybe. Out of the desire to please?  Sounds like another valid option.  Because it’s the easy way out…no struggles, fights or arguments?  Could be.  Whatever, the reason may be, we waste our days trying to stick to rules and values that–in most cases–aren’t really ours, and…in the end…we become a carbon copy of whoever it is we’re adhering to.  What’s worse is, unfortunately, that we feel trapped and we end up hating ourselves.  We get caught in a vicious cycle, which is when we realize it’s too late to change (or at least that’s what we think at that point).  

I’m not telling you to necessarily break the rules and argue your way out of everything, I’m just telling you to allow yourself to grow into the beautiful person that you’re supposed to be.  You are unique, special and a miracle...you have to believe in that with all your heart.  If God wanted us all to be the same he wouldn’t have given us different brains and hearts to do otherwise!  I don’t want to get to spiritual or philosophical so I’ll just use a very simple example to illustrate my argument.  

Upon graduating from high school, most parents want their children to declare majors that will “ensure” financial stability in the future; i.e. Business Administration, Engineering, Architecture and Medicine.  Not all parents love the idea of Literature, Philosophy and Art.  Correct?  Again, this is not based on assumptions, rather on close observation and personal experience.  At this point, the student has a choice, he or she declares his/her major based on the parents’ wishes or sticks to what he or she truly loves, and I believe that if you don’t love what you do for a living, the money’s never going to come.  Of course, if the student is really into Engineering and that echoes his dad’s wishes, then great!  But if not, then we have a problem.  

That’s just a simple example, but it says a lot.  I know people who live their entire lives this way, aiming solely to please and avoid conflict, and thus completely diminishing their existence and turning into either A. a copy of the Other or B. the actualization of the Other’s dreams; in short, anything but him or herself. 

Take a look around you…at the office, at school…wherever you are.  You’ll probably find only a handful of people who are truly passionate about their job or their field of study…those are the lucky ones who are on the path of self-discovery…they are growing and are molding themselves as they go along.  Then…there you have the sad majority…those who drag themselves out of bed every morning already hoping that the day would end; those are the ones who completely lost themselves in the midst of the desires, dreams and aspirations of the Other.

Nevertheless, it is never too late to start growing.  Even if you think your time has passed, as long as you realize what went wrong or what you’re still doing wrong, you’re already half-way through.  Just go ahead, take a deep breath, take off your mask, and start living your life in accordance with your beliefs, your desires and your dreams.