“You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.” - Anonymous
“Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions.”- David Borenstein
“The deepest feeling always shows itself in silence; not in silence, but restraint.”-Marianne Moore
We always talk about feelings…”I feel this” or “I feel that”…and I’ve noticed that when someone talks about the way he or she feels, a certain glimmer of light appears in the speaker’s eyes, especially when it comes to love.
When we encounter a strong emotion…when we truly feel it, it sweeps over us; it turns our world upside down, even if only for a moment…we feel truly alive.
When it comes to love, however, some people claim that they can “control” their feelings. The first time I heard this from a guy friend of mine I couldn’t stop laughing. Personally, I think it’s ridiculous. Nevertheless, over the past month I’ve heard this idea of “controlling one’s feelings” at least three times from three different people. Now, I no longer find it a ridiculous idea; it has turned into a scary technique. When faced with a strong emotion towards another person, some of us “freak out.” The latter can be attributed to numerous reasons, but speaking from what I’ve dealt with, all the reasons fall under one large umbrella, namely fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of disappointment, fear of getting hurt…and the list goes on. But what is going on? Are people really that scared to take a leap and risk it all for the one they love? Whatever happened to “love conquers all”? Yes, it’s an overused statement, but there must be a reason behind why it’s been quoted so many times! The fact is, I don’t believe that feelings have an “on” and “off” switch. I, for one, embrace every single feeling I have, and I think that makes me more alive than someone who doesn’t. As for those who claim that they are able to control their feelings, in my opinion, that’s just garbage. Feelings are not rational. They belong to the heart, not to the mind, and thus are not subject to over thinking, rationalizing and/or distortion…as long as you allow your heart to control them. Even if you don’t…even if you force yourself to deny a certain feeling because “it’s the right thing to do,” it will resurface–sooner or later–and its strength will be multiplied (trust me on that one), so there’s really no point in running away from it, or suppressing it, from the start. I believe that everything happens for a reason. If you start to “feel” something, it’s for a reason, suppressing it is going against it, and thus going against nature…which will definitely do more harm to you on the long run, as opposed to the short-lived harm it will do to the person you’re so scared to allow your feelings to surface for. My advice to you: embrace your feelings, because if they’re meant to be there they will not disappear, even if you tell yourself that they’re under control. It’s definitely better to deal with them now rather than pushing them away; if you do, you will only find yourself flooded with them when the time is no longer right.
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